We hold on
to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and
suffering. Instead of letting them go,
instead of allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy, we cling on to the
memories and events of our past. Well,
you can change that, starting right now, today.
You are going to learn how to identify those things that no longer serve
you and give them up, which will begin the process for you to embrace the
change.
Ready? Here you go.
These are the tools for you to implement in your own life, right now,
which will accelerate the process of letting go of your past.
1 . Give up your need to always be right.
There’s so many of us who just can’t stand the idea of being wrong,
wanting to always be right, even at the expense of ending relationships that
are causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the urgent need to jump
into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this
question: “Would I rather be right? Or would I rather be kind?” This comes from Wayne Dyer. Now what difference will that make? Or is your ego really that big?
2. Give up you need for control.
Be willing to give up your need to control everything that happens
around you whether they are situations, events, people, and it doesn't matter
who they may be – workers, co-workers, strangers, your loved ones – just allow
them to be. Allow everyone and
everything to be just exactly as it is and just watch how much better you are
going to feel. “By letting it go, it all
gets done. The world is won by those who
let it go. When you try and try, the
world is beyond winning.” –Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame.
Give up your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for
what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving
your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up on your self-defeating talk.
Now this is a big one. How many
people are hurting themselves right now because of their negative, polluted,
and repetitive self-defeating mindset?
Here’s a rule of thumb. Don’t
believe anything you mind tells you, especially if its negative, and
self-defeating. You are way better than
that. Eckart Tolle says, “The mind is a
superb instrument if used rightly. Used
wrongly, however, and it becomes very destructive.”
5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
About what you can or can’t do.
About what is possible or impossible.
From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to
keep you stuck in the wrong place.
Spread your wings, and you fly.
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the
mind.” – Elly Roselle
6. Give up your complaining.
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many things in
your life – people, situations, events that make you very unhappy, sad, and
depressed. Nobody can make you
unhappy. No situation can make you sad
or miserable unless you allow it to.
It’s not the situations that trigger those feelings in you but how you
choose to look at it. Never, ever underestimate
the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
Give up your need to criticize things, people, or events that are
different from you. Were all different
and we are all the same. We all want to
be happy, we all want to love and be loved and be understood and
understand. We all want something, and
something is wished by all.
8. Give up your need to impress others.
Stop trying so hard to be something that you are not just to make other
people like you. It doesn't work that
way. The moment you stop trying so hard
to be something that you are not, the moment you take off all your masks, the
moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn
to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change.
Change is good. Change helps you
move from A to B. Change will help you
make improvements in your life and also the lives around you. Follow your bliss. Embrace change. Don’t resist it. One of my favorite authors is Joseph Campbell
and he writes, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you
where there were only walls.”
10. Give up on labels.
Stop labeling those things, people, or events that you don’t understand
as being weird or different and try opening your mind, just a little, little by
little. Miracles only work when the mind
is open. Wayne Dyer says, “The highest
form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.”
11. Give up on your fears.
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist! You created it, I created it, it’s all in our
minds. Correct the inside, and
everything else is going to fall into place.
12. Give up your excuses.
Take your excuses and send them packing and tell them they are
fired. You don’t need them anymore. Lot of times we limit ourselves because of
the many excuses we use. Instead of
growing and working on improving our lives we get stuck. We lie to ourselves. We use all kinds of excuses. Excuses which are 99.9% of the time are not
even real.
13. Give up the past.
Here’s a big one. I know, I know,
it’s hard. Especially when the past
looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening. But you have to take in to consideration the
fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are longing for – it’s
gone. The past that you were dreaming
about was ignored by you when you were in the present. So, let’s stop deluding ourselves. Be present in everything you do and enjoy
your life. All of life is a journey,
it’s not a destination. Have a clear
vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the Now.
14. Give up attachment.
This concept is a hard one to grasp, and I have to tell you it was for
me too. It still is. But it’s not impossible. You get better and better at it with time and
practice. The moment you detach from all
things (this doesn't mean you give up your love for them, because love and
attachment have nothing to do with one another.
Attachment comes from a place of fear while love, real love, is pure,
its kind, and selfless. Its peaceful,
where there is love, there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and
love cannot coexist.) You become very
peaceful, so kind, so tolerant, so serene.
You will get to a place where eventually you will be able to understand
all things without even trying. It’s a
state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other
people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is
not theirs to live. They live their
lives according to what other people think is best for them, they live their
lives according to what their parents think is best for them, they live their
lives according to what their enemies, teachers, their government and the media
thinks is best for them. They ignore
their inner voice, their inner calling.
They are so busy pleasing everybody else with living up to other
people’s expectations, that they lose control over their own lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they
want, what they need, and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – you've got this one,
right now – you must live it, you must own it, and especially, don’t allow
other people’s opinions to distract you from your path.
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Charlie Pacello is a PTSD, Depression, and Healing Trauma Recovery Expert and Life Coach, a former US Air Force Lieutenant, and creator of the program, 'Lt. Pacello's Life Training Program.' He can be reached by visiting his website at www.charliepacello.com
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