WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP?
Now, what
motivates you? What is going to get you
out of bed in the morning? What is that
thing that is going to spark you and get you so excited to make your life
everything it could possibly be? Is it
going to be money? Is it going to be
having that new car? Is it going to be
having some other possession? This type
of motivation may work temporarily, it may be the way you do it and obviously a
majority of people use this as a motivation in today’s society, but the thing
is, once you get that possession, what are you going to do? What’s next?
Once that desire is satisfied, you’ll have to find a new desire to
covet. So it becomes a pattern of
something always outside of ourselves as giving us the motivation to
achieve. Something outside of ourselves
that we are chasing after to give us meaning and fulfillment, instead of
looking inside and finding our true motivation and saying ‘this is what I’m all
about, this is who I am, this is what I am giving and contributing to the
world.’ When you come from this place,
all those other material possessions will come.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not denying the value and the pleasure these possessions
give us, I enjoy possessions just like the rest of you, however, you must
always keep in mind these things are transient.
They come and they go. You get
one car, you get tired of it, and you get another. You buy one house, you decide you want to
move or you lose it for whatever reason, you change residences. You work at one job, you decide to change
careers or you lose that job, and you’re off to find another one. So, with the transient nature of all these things,
you have to decide, are you going to place your value, the value of your life
on something outside of you which is completely out of your control, or on what
you have within?
If your motivation is
based on something outside of yourself, you are inevitably putting yourself at
the vulnerability of being let down. But
if you place your motivation in the core of your being and who you truly are,
regardless of what happens outside of you in the external world, and it could
be upsetting, for example, you could lose your job, your home, your
relationship might suddenly end, someone close to you might die, you could be
in the worst situation possible, but you will still know the thing that drives
you, why you do what you do. What it is
that motivates you to action. That’s
what we are looking at here. It’s not
what drove you yesterday. It’s not what
drove you ten years ago. It’s not what drove you twenty years ago. What drove me ten years ago is completely
different than what drives me today. What
drives me today is I want to help heal in others Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder, depression, trauma, and stress and I want to do this for everybody. Why?
Because I understand how painful it is.
I had lived with it for so long, I was genetically, environmentally, and
unconsciously programmed to experience and live with this from the time I was
born, and to finally be free from it, all of it, I want to give that to
others. That’s my motivation. That’s what gets me up in the morning. That’s what gets me excited is to be able to
give people the tools and permission to heal themselves.
That wasn't my motivation 10 years ago. Ten years ago, my motivation was I wanted to
become a great actor, a movie and stage star.
And I still want to be a great actor, and I know I've done and will
continue to do great acting when the roles come, but things have changed now
after the incredible journey I've gone through.
So that was my motivation 10 years ago.
20 years ago, my motivation was to be the best officer I could be, to
learn the skills to becoming an officer in the Air Force, and inculcate those
principles in my being. So there were different
motivations at different times in my life.
So, we got to figure out what it is that motivates you today! What drives you today?
One of the
teachers that I've brought into my program, and I have numerous teachers that I
draw from for their insights, wisdom, and deep understandings of the nature of
life and living, is Tony Robbins. There
is nobody out there better than Tony Robbins about getting you motivated. He epitomizes life coaching and he has
motivated millions to live inspired lives, and that’s why he’s in this
program. People who suffer from PTSD, depression, trauma, or stress must uncover what moves them to action in order for them to
break free from the past.
Tony says,
“The invisible force of internal drive activated is the most important thing in
the world.” Really get this. “The invisible force of internal drive
activated is the most important thing in the world.” This is that thing inside of you that is your
force of life, the emotion that is inside of you that drives you to do what you
do. Emotion is the force of life. It’s going to drive you to the life you want
to live. The video I have of Tony
Robbins I’m going to break down and analyze it for you right here, what I got
from it, so that you can get everything you need from it right now.
“All
effective leaders have the ability to consistently move themselves and others
to action because they understand the invisible forces that shape us.” This is a direct quote from the video. These invisible forces are your thoughts,
your emotions, your feelings, your beliefs, your values, all these things that
are inside of you that shape your ability to contribute to something beyond
yourself. If you just focus on yourself
and what the world can give you, or what the world owes you, you’re coming from
a place of lack, of scarcity, of wantingness.
Wantingness is an insatiable, pervasive, empty feeling inside that can
never be satisfied. It’s an insatiable
desire on the part of the individual where nothing satisfies the craving for
more, no matter how many desires are actually fulfilled. It is a negative energy field that is
constantly consuming without ever being filled up. The desire of wanting more is actually more
desired than the desires being met. A
person coming from this place is constantly consuming.
We live in a consumer culture, our whole
society has been built up around consuming – what can I get out of this? What’s in it for me? – Instead of what can I
give? What can I contribute? As a consequence of this, we've collectively
forgotten the art of fulfillment. This
art of fulfillment is about how do I fulfill my life, and give it meaning and
purpose. It has nothing to do with
buying things, acquiring possessions, what’s my take, what’s in it for me,
etc., that’s why we have the selfish,
narcissistic, ego-centered culture that we have because it’s all about satisfying
this insatiable wantingness of the ego, which we identify as me. Well, it’s not just about your ego, and
having you ego desires be met. Yes, it
is very important to love yourself, and know who you are, no doubt in my mind
you must master yourself; and from this place of wholeness, it then becomes
about what it is that I can give? What
it is I can contribute? How can I make
this world better? How do I create the
life that I want to live? What can I do
to add to life, add to the expansion of life, that’s what’s going to give you
fulfillment. That’s going to give you
appreciation for others, appreciation for yourself, and you are going to be
contributing something. And the sense of
being able to contribute something fills you up, it gives you a sense of
meaning and purpose, it gives your life purpose, you are living your life on
purpose!
To live your life on purpose is
so invigorating! The problem is we are
living in a culture that thinks we are our biography. That we are our past. That biography defines us. Whatever our past was, that’s what our
present is going to be, that’s what our future is going to be. And most of the people who are out there,
quite frankly, this is how they are going to live. And this will be true for them. Your biography is your destiny, and your past
is going to equal your future. If you choose
to live this way, whatever your past was, you are going to bring it right into
your future, guaranteed. That’s what you
are going to get, if that is where you stay.
However, what you have as a human being, you have the free will to
choose something different; you have the power of decision. Decision is the ultimate power. You can choose to live in the past, or you
can choose to do something different, and build a better now and a better
future.
What are
some of the reasons people say that they didn't achieve their goal? I know what my reasons were! My biggest one? Money!
I didn't have enough money or resources to go out and get what I wanted;
I didn't have the time to do it; I didn't have the knowledge or the
understanding; I wasn't smart enough – this person is way too smart for me and
too far ahead of me for me to be able to do that – boy, oh boy! I made more
excuses for myself for not accomplishing a goal, or even attempting one, rather
than just deciding once and for all to do it!
And these were all based upon my perception of lack. These beliefs were so deeply embedded within
my psyche, this perception of lack and scarcity, that they were all my claims
for not having enough resources! What I
was missing was that despite the fact these statements were probably true,
these excuses were not my biggest problem.
My biggest defining factor was not that I didn't have enough resources;
it was that I wasn't resourceful. Resourcefulness
is the defining factor on whether or not someone is going to fail or someone is
going to succeed.
What are
some of the qualities of resourcefulness?
A person who is resourceful is creative; they’re determined; they love
and care about what they do; they have curiosity about everything, they want to
know, they’re curious; they have passion for what they do; and they have
resolve. Nothing is going to stop them
from doing what it is that they set out to do.
I had none of these, well I had some; I had passion. I have passion for acting, I had passion to
be an officer and to succeed at the Academy, but I was deficient in some of
these other areas. And as I looked back
at my life, I examined when I was successful and when I wasn't. And the areas when I was really successful,
when I was really on target, when I was really focused on what I set out to do,
it’s when I had an emotion connected to it, a deep, passionate, driving
emotion. And that emotion, this real
human emotion, was something I was able to give and communicate to someone
else, on a level they were able to experience and comprehend, it was an
authentic communication of something so profound within me, I was able to
connect with them. I was able to
communicate that excitement, that passion, that deep desire to them.
So, what I've learned, both from my own personal
experience and from the Tony Robbins video, is you've got to get the right
emotion! You have to get the feeling
inside you can do anything! We can do it;
we can do anything, if we have the right emotion behind it. If you have this emotion, and you are
creative enough, playful enough, fun enough, adventurous enough, determined
enough, compassionate enough, you can communicate and connect to anyone. And when I was successful, that’s where I was
at. That’s when I met my goals. And when I didn't have that, the majority of
the time, I didn't meet my goals. So,
for me, when I didn't have the money to do the things I wanted to do, I would
let this get me down. I used this as an
excuse not to go after the things I wanted to do. And so, the bottom line is you have to find a
way. If you don’t have the money, you
don’t have the resources, you've got to be resourceful, and your ultimate
resource is going to be your emotion.
Part 3 tomorrow.
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Charlie Pacello is a PTSD, Depression, and Healing Trauma Recovery Expert and Life Coach, a former US Air Force Lieutenant, and creator of the program, 'Lt. Pacello's Life Training Program.' He can be reached by visiting his website at www.charliepacello.com
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